Wednesday 14 May 2008

MACHO NEWS - 14TH MAY

THE HOME OF MACHO, EVERY THURSDAY AT THE JOINERS ARMS

+ every Wednesday from the land of MACHO...HERE IS THE NEWS!

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ohGOD, us first. MACHO CITY LOVES THE JOINERS ARMS!

MACHO HAS FOUND ITS HOME

COME COME COME! THURSDAYS!

IT'S SUCH A NAUGHTY TREAT!

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MACHO BITCH OF THE WEEK: SUE SIMMONS!



THIS BITCH is so MACHO! The forces against MACHO keep blocking this clip, so if it's gone, do a YOUTUBE search for "SUE" "SIMMONS" "F-WORD". you should be able to find it...

WHAT IS HAPPENING? WHAT CAUSES HER TO CURSE WITH SUCH INSANE FORCE? try channeling a bit of SUE SIMMONS as you go about your day. Your personal machocity will ROCKET as soon as you get the intonation right. Practice it on the intern. "what the FUCK are you doin?". And if you're the intern, practice it on your boss -they'll be so impressed! Honest! If the clip has completely disappeared, console yourselves with:



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???...OUR MACHO CONUNDRUM...???
are the Gossip Girl gays MACHO?

!!!SPOILER ALERT!!!

Don't click here if you're a poor sap in the UK who's lagging on Season One rather than just reading about the ALL NEW EPISODES y'know, like, any sane person is doing, OK? because if you click here... you'll find out which of the cast are homosexualists.

MACHO CITY LOVES TV SHOWS THAT GIVE US HOMOSEXUALISTS!



SHIT Gossip Girl actually looks amazing! Who's for a Gossip Girl slumber party post-MACHO CITY?

+ AMAZING USE OF THE WORD "FAGGOT"!

NEXT WEEK: MACHO CITY's previous favourite cultural use of the word "FAGGOT". in fact not just "FAGGOT", but "INTERNATIONAL SCHOOL OF FAGGOTRY"!

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???...OUR MACHO CONUNDRUM #2...#

Channel 4. Sunday. BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN.

even the trailer made MACHO CITY cry.

IS THAT MACHO?

SHOULD WE PULL OURSELVES TOGETHER?

IT'S ONLY A PLAID SHIRT!

ohGOD... but... HEATH... poor HEATH



(we feel the subtitles make this extra MACHO)

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seeing Michelle Williams in that clip gets MACHO CITY wondering... WHO WAS MOST MACHO ON DAWSON'S CREEK?

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HANKY CODE OF THE WEEK: RUST, RIGHT POCKET

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NEXT WEEK! the EUROVISION SONG CONTEST entrants RANKED ACCORDING TO THEIR MACHOCITY!

clue: Andy Abrahams DOES NOT DO THAT WELL

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Sunday 11 May 2008

MACHO #1 – RANDY SAVAGE



Macho City’s inaugural hero is American wrestling superstar “Macho Man” Randy Savage! His machocity is baked right in – look it’s there in his name! Randy. Savage. Randy. Savage. I hope you’re saying it out loud. Are you thinking of a randy savage? Powerful.

Savage joined the World Wrestling Federation in the 80s initially as a heel (that’s wrestling talk for baddie) but his popularity lead to him turning “face” (goodie). One of the few people to accessorise with neon sunglasses and sequinned cowboy hats yet still retain complete machocity, Savage was absolutely massive in the 80s and 90s.

More Macho Man Facts…

• He won a load of belts!
• He teamed up with Hulk Hogan and called their gang the “Mega Powers!” Although they fell out – see his myspace url
• His wife managed him – they had an onscreen wedding!
• His theme music was Irene Cara’s “Fame”
• his real name is Randall Mario Poffo
• He appeared in the first Spiderman film. As a wrestler!
• For a while he called himself “Macho King”
• He released a hip hop album called “Be a Man” in 2003!
• He’s completely bonkers!

Amaze.

Here are some Macho Man links...

Savage on wikipedia

The official Macho Man website. It doesn’t appear to work but the holding page is pretty strong

Randy’s myspace. Make friends with him! Unless you’re hulk Hogan

Macho Man talking nonsense on the telly

Someone’s done a tribute. If you like emo you’re in for a double treat. Moving